literature

on waking alone in the night

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moondrums's avatar
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Literature Text

it is four in the morning.
with my eyes closed i could be a child
tonguing the space left
by a missing tooth, probing,
picking at
some loss - the slow, nagging drip
of that open wound.
atrophy.

in this dark i can't see
my palm as it rises there
like a specter, the unfurling
of the hand like lips, the spaces
between fingers as they search again
and again
for some missing thing. these are
the real wounds.
i am not a child
anymore: there are worse things
to have lost
than teeth.
critique for #thewrittenrevolution[link]
for critique:
1. what are your first impressions?
2. is the imagery overwrought?
3. is it cliche?
© 2015 - 2024 moondrums
Comments23
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ChaosDucky's avatar
This is really beautiful

I love how there is still a lightness of innocence trying to defy the weight of melancholy